Jealous Friends: Signs and How to Handle Them

For many, friendships are as important as family. Your friends hang out with you, laugh with you, and play with you because they like you. They choose to be with you and love you, even if you are not related. However, just like in any other relationship, fights, arguments, and jealousy happen. Though jealousy is a normal human emotion most of the time, it can be annoying and distressing. The sad thing about this is that sometimes toxic friendships can lead to stress and anxiety. This is not the type of friendship you want to have in your life.

How do you know if you have a jealous friend?

How can you handle a friend who acts jealous when you are doing well or belittles your happiness and accomplishments? And how can you recognize if your friendship has become toxic due to resentment? Here are some instances where you have a jealous friend: These signs may be an indicator that you have to cut them off from your life for good.

1. Sometimes, when you achieve success in your professional life and want to share it with a close friend, they may respond in a negative manner. Rather than congratulating you, they may bring up the potential negative consequences of your achievement. They might even congratulate you in a way that sounds insincere or fake.
2. You might observe that your friend is giving you backhanded compliments and making passive-aggressive comments that bother you for a long time. These comments are often delivered subtly, making it difficult for you to decide how to confront them. For instance, your friend may laugh at your good news and suggest that you got lucky due to your connections. They may also make jokes about your wedding speech, even though everyone was having a good laugh.

3. A friend who is jealous of you may not show interest in your stories and experiences. Instead, they might interrupt you mid-sentence with their own story or opinion. Genuine conversations involve mutual listening and empathy, but with a toxic friend, the conversation is often one-sided and focused solely on them.
4. A toxic friend may become overly dependent on you, particularly when you make new friends. They may start attributing any mishaps to your new friends, belittling you, and attempting to keep you away from others. These individuals frequently become insecure and believe that they are being substituted. They suffer from feelings of inadequacy, which provoke envy.
5. Friends who are toxic and jealous tend to have preconceived notions in their minds, which they use to manipulate situations. They may even fabricate stories to get out of tricky situations and deceive you for sympathy. These individuals are insecure and have fragile egos, which makes them prone to jealousy.
6. A friend consumed by jealousy won’t be supportive of your endeavors, be they a new job, a relationship, or any other accomplishment. Instead, they may use harsh words to discourage and hurt you, making you doubt your success. It is crucial to recognize the signs of a toxic friendship and take action before it takes a toll on your well-being.

How do you handle a jealous friend?

It is important to preserve your friendship, even if your friend’s behavior is bothering you. The way you approach the conversation can make all the difference in maintaining the relationship. Here are some steps you can take to handle your jealous friend:

Take a constructive approach to your response.

Friends who struggle with insecurity require ongoing support and compassion from their friends. It’s important to make a concerted effort to address the issue in a constructive way that is clear and specific about your intentions. This can help reduce their negative behaviors and alleviate their insecurities over time.

Support your friends emotionally, but also remember to take care of yourself.

It is important for both of you to take action to improve your friendship. When sharing your achievements, make sure not to cause harm or bring negative energy to the conversation. Jealousy has no place in a healthy friendship, so it is very helpful to support and comfort each other rather than blame one another. Understanding each other’s feelings and the dynamics of the relationship can increase your friend’s self-esteem and strengthen your bond.

Jealousy should never be destructive.

While jealousy may have its place in some situations, allowing it to lead to conflict or avoidance can result in toxicity. Instead, it is important to focus on fostering a healthy relationship with your friend and addressing any toxic jealousy that may be present.

Talk openly with your friend. 

When facing issues or problems in a friendship, it is always better to have an open conversation, but it must be approached in the right way. Take a break to calm down before having the conversation. Wait until you’re feeling more composed and can speak calmly. Reflect on the key points you want to raise in the conversation. Think about specific things you want your friend to understand about how you feel. Be ready to forgive your friend and move forward after the conversation, even if it did not go as planned.

Reminder

Friends should always be your cheerleaders and support you in your success. They should be genuinely happy for your accomplishments, grow alongside you, and provide motivation to do better. They should not be the reason for your stress or anxiety. Jealous friends may be bullies, but knowing when to let go of this kind of friend will save you from heartbreak and pain.

Recognize the signs and know how to deal with them. The first step is to identify signs of jealousy, such as them making you feel inferior or turning good news into bad. If your friend openly displays jealousy, you can address it through open and empathetic communication. However, if their actions are harmful and threaten your well-being, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship.

Friendships are important, but if they have caused you deep sorrow and too much stress, it helps if you talk to a mental health professional. Mindshift Psychological Services provides therapy and counseling sessions for those dealing with stress and anxiety. You will learn how to manage and handle this kind of friendship. Contact us at (714) 584-9700 to schedule an appointment.